"Bah! Humbug" - no, that's too strong
Cos it's my favorite holiday
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy
To add to my already mad rush
Just because it is the season
The perfect gift for me would be
Completions and connections left from
Last year, world tour
Aeroplanes and babies
Met some guys but never the time
Most of '98 passed along those lines
So deck the halls and trim those trees
Raise up the cups of Christmas cheer
I just need to catch my breath
Christmas with my mates this year

Calendar picture, frozen landscape
Chilled this room for twenty-four days
Evergreens, sparkling snow
Get this winter over with!
Flashback to springtime, saw him again
Would've been good to go for lunch
Couldn't agree we were both free
We tried, we said we'd keep in touch
We didn't, of course, 'till the summertime
Out to the beach to his boat, could I join him?
No, this time it was me
Sunburn in the third degree
Now the calendar's just one page
And, of course, I am excited
Tonight's the night, but I've set my mind
Not to do too much about it

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year

Hardly dashing through the snow
Cos I bundled up too tight
Last minute have-to-do's
A few cards, a few calls
Because it's R-S-V-P
No thanks, no party lights
It's Christmas Eve, gonna relax
Turned down all of my invites
Last fall I had a night to myself
Same guy called, halloween party
Waited all night for him to show
This time his car wouldn't go
Forget it, it's cold, it's getting late
Trudge on home to celebrate
In a quiet way, unwind
Doing Christmas right this time

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year

Tesco has provided me
With the world's smallest turkey
Already in the oven, nice and hot
Oh damn, guess what I forgot?
So it's on with the boots, back out in the snow
To the only all-night garage
But when to my wondering eyes should appear
In the line that guy I've been chasing all year
"Spending this one alone," he said
"Need a break; this year's been crazy."
I said, "Me too, but why are you?
You mean you forgot the papers too?"
Then suddenly we laughed and laughed
Caught on to what was happening
Christmas magic's brought this tale
To a very happy e-ending

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year
[Repeat to Fade]