He’s been trying with limited success
To get this girl to let him get into her pants
But every time he thinks he’s getting close
She threatens death before he gets a chance

That’s the way it is in Minnesota
And that’s the way it is in Oklahoma
That’s the way it’s been since protozoa
First crawled on the shores of California

And she’s been trying with limited success
To get him to turn off the lights and dance
Cause like any girl all she really wants
Is that fickle little bitch romance
That fickle little bitch romance

And that is why a girl is called a tease
And that is why a guy is called a sleaze
And that’s why god made escort agencies
One life to live and mace and ghb

That’s the way it is in Minnesota
And that’s the way it is in Oklahoma homa
That’s the way since the animal and noah
First climbed onto shores of California

Must not be too kind
Stop thinking love is blind
Clench your fists yeah write
She’s just not my type…

Why all these conflicting specifications
Maybe to prevent overpopulation
All i know is that all around the nation
The girls are cryin’ and the boys are masturbatin’

That’s the way it is in Minnesota
And that’s the way it is in Oklahoma homa
That's the way Aristophanes and homer
Wrote the Iliad and lysistrata

That’s the way it is in Minnesota
And that’s the way it is in Oklahoma homa
That’s the way since the animal and protozoa
First climbed on the shores of California